It's Not Rape, It's Judo
by NekoIllustrations
Summary: What better way to spend a rainy day together than sparring with your beloved partner? Well, it is until you find out he's a black belt.
1. Chapter 1

**In which Tyki corrects Kanda on a number of subjects, rated for safety ;) enjoy!**

"Gah! This is so boring!" Kanda cried, throwing the book down on the floor.

"It's not boring, it's enthralling," Tyki said calmly, bending down and picking up the book from the floor, "and Tolkien was an amazing author."

"I'd rather read the _Heike Monogatari_ ten times over than suffer through that piece of shit any longer," the Japanese man growled, "And least THAT has historical relevance and educational benefit."

"That's possibly the most eloquent thing you've said to me today, my dear," Tyki said, placing Kanda's discarded book on the coffee table, "I'd love to hear your reasoning for that previous statement, though. What makes the _Tale of the House of Taira _so different from _The Fellowship of the Ring_? It's an exaggerated tale that's said to mimic _The_ _Song of Roland_, isn't it?"

"One that teaches people not get a big head when they obtain power," Kanda said stubbornly, "I fail to see any similarities between it and an unbelievably slow story about a hairy-footed midget and his friends."

"Frodo is not a midget, he's a Hobbit!" Tyki corrected indignantly, "and the book picks up as you keep reading. Honestly, I'd thought you'd like a story with dark battles and loads of killing. That seems to be the main theme of all the manga you've shoved onto me, at least."

Kanda let out his usual "tche!". Standing up and stretching, he yawned, "Sitting on the floor and reading books is not my idea of a good time anyway," he said dismissively.

"It's raining, darling," Tyki said with a sigh, "It's not like we can got out an do anything. Besides, even if it weren't, you hate public displays of affection. That's why you refused to go to the movies last week, remember?"

"I refused to go because your idea of a good movie is some crap about a whiny teenage wizard with psychological issues," The younger man snapped, "Forgive me, but the title _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ had me set up for a bad time even before I read the IMDB summary. The woman who wrote the damn book series sounds like a nutcase to me."

"She's not crazy, she's brilliant," the Portuguese man rectified again, "Well, back to our predicament. What indoor activities would you like to engage in that don't involve burning down my house?" He smirked, "we could get… physical, if you'd prefer. I know you like it rough."

Kanda blushed furiously, "I'm not doing anything perverted," he growled, "You had your fun last week anyway, remember? Can't you lay off for a bit?"

"Are you still sore, my dear?" Tyki asked playfully, dodging his lover's fist with a laugh, "Calm down," he said, "I did mean that. You've been quite the influence on me lately, so much so that I've taken up Judo. I was offering to spar with you."

Kanda blinked, "I just got my second Dan in KENDO, moron," he said tersely, "I only a little bit about Judo."

"I only started a little while ago, so we're probably on the same level," Tyki said, "Come on, you're frustrated and restless, I can tell, not to mention I don't want to have sex while you're in a bad mood either."

Kanda shrugged, "Fine, I'd love the chance to beat you into a pulp anyway," he said. Together, they moved the living room furniture out of the way and shut the cabinet doors to protect the TV. After they were finished, they sat back to back, get ready to start.

"Why don't you make the call, Kanda," Tyki said, "you can do it Japanese if you want, I know speaking your native tongue makes you feel better."

After a pause, Kanda shouted, "HAJIME!" and they began. Kanda was surprised when he quickly got the upper hand, pinning they taller man to the ground with ease. It had been ages since he last set foot in a Judo lesson and he hadn't made it past the second belt before he left to start Kendo, so his ability to overwhelm his lover was quite shocking.

The younger man happily enjoyed his dominance for a few moments before Tyki tapped and they broke apart, panting. After a short respite, they sat together again, taking a few breaths and checking themselves for injuries.

"HAJIME!" Kanda cried and they went at it again. This time, however, the tables were turned and Kanda was on the ground in a matter of seconds. He cursed as he struggled to get out of Tyki's hold, but the older man was heavier and kept him pinned.

"Did I mention that 'a little while' meant over ten years?" his lover said sweetly.

"KISAMA!" Kanda shouted, "TEME WA USOTSUKI!"

"In English, darling," Tyki chuckled, "I don't know any Japanese beyond Konnichiwa."

"I called you a liar, you bastard!" Kanda growled, struggling a little more violently than before. He blinked as Tyki suddenly got off of him, but a second later he was pulled up and subsequently flipped back down again.

"You should've gotten used to my nature by now, dearest," Tyki said, holding firmly onto Kanda's arm, "Now," Kanda made let out a noise of surprise as his lover ripped off his shirt, "It's getting hot in here, so why don't we make this easier on ourselves?" He let go of Kanda's arm to remove his own shirt before attacking again.

They wrestled for a few moments, but Kanda once again found himself pinned under the Portuguese man, struggling to get out. This time, however, Tyki didn't seem keen on yielding. He sat on Kanda's stomach, wiping sweat from his forehead, before pinning the younger man's wrists and pressing his mouth firmly against his lips. Kanda wasn't fast enough and let out a reflexive moan as their tongues met. After a few breathless seconds, Tyki withdrew, smiling down at the red-faced man under him.

"I'm still hot," he panted, trailing his hand down Kanda's sweaty abdomen, resting his fingers on his belt, "And you are too, aren't you?"

"Asshole," Kanda snarled breathlessly, "You planned this, didn't- mmph!"

"It's not nice to accuse your lover," Tyki said as he shoved his fingers into the younger man's mouth, "Why don't you amuse yourself while I relieve the two of us of these troublesome garments. I, for one, would not like to die if heat stroke."

Kanda felt the heat flash up through his cheeks, but he didn't really have another option other than to bite Tyki's hand, which he knew would only land him in worse pain that he was already going to be. He ran his tongue over the appendages grudgingly while Tyki removed his jeans with his free hand and moved onto his own. Kanda caught a glimpse of the other's already erect length as his lover tossed their remaining clothes aside. He thought he'd felt something while they were fighting.

"You're awfully submissive today," Tyki said, removing his fingers from the ministrations of Kanda's tongue, "Did I wear you out already?"

"Fuck off," Kanda snapped, instantly regretting it as the older man flipped him on his stomach, inserting first one, then two, then finally three fingers. He cried out as Tyki began to move them back and forth, exciting him to point where he thought he might die from the pain.

"You get worked up so easily," Tyki smirked, turning Kanda over again. Kanda gasped as the other put his mouth over his throbbing manhood, running his tongue over it lovingly. Kanda moaned as the older man continued, climaxing after a few more excruciating moments.

He lay there, panting as Tyki wiped his mouth, grinning breathlessly, "We're not done yet, sweetheart," he panted, "I was merciful today, now you have to amuse me."

Kanda groaned as Tyki pulled him in his lap and proceeded to massage him with his hips. He let out a cry of surprise as the older man suddenly picked up his pace, thrusting quickly, painfully, breathing heavily in Kanda's ear as the younger man moaned loudly.

"Almost done, darling," Tyki said, helping him to turn around, "You know what I want."

Kanda bent down wearily, running his tongue over Tyki's length for a few moments before the other came violently into his mouth. He sat up, coughing as he wiped his mouth. He snatched his clothes away from his lover, dressing stiffly but swiftly.

"Bastard," he hissed as he flopped down onto the couch.

"Having your second Dan in Kendo means nothing if you're going up against a black-belt in Judo," Tyki said, sitting down on the couch and putting Kanda's head against his chest, "especially without your shinai. And it was quick today, wasn't it? I could've tortured you like I usually do, but I chose to be nice."

"Rape is still rape," Kanda growled as Tyki wrapped his arms around him. He glared at him as the older man let out a low chuckle, blinking incredulously as his lover corrected him yet again.

"It's not rape, it's Judo."


	2. Chapter 2

**Important Update to All Readers**

So, I'm happily settled into college, and working hard to build my major and get through my classes. It is understandable, therefore, that finding time for writing fanfics is a little difficult. Even so, I do have a couple in the works -or reworks. I'm going to write/finish/finalize work for the following series: The Betrayal Knows My Name (because I haven't finished even one version yet), D Gray-Man (because I owe it to myself), Bleach (because I have a fun plot line I'd like to work with, and I've never actually gone very far with writing for Bleach before), and _maybe_ Naruto (if I can keep the idea in my head long enough). As per usual, these will all have some version of my OC Kai, and other OCs will play parts in these fics as well (expect repeat performances from the names Haru, Akira, and Ren). I would like to stress, though, that this is not for lack of creativity, but for lack of energy to create any more new characters, especially when I fear I might bring in OCs from my book. That's right, folks, I'm writing a fantasy novel (I mean it, an actual novel with its own original plot and everything -holy sh*t, right?) and it's taken priority over writing with other people's characters. Still, every author needs a break from her own creations, and I consider working with "stock characters" a good break. That's why I will keep writing fanfiction for now. I do plan to finish each of the aforementioned stories, but updates will be slower, and it will take longer to get them done. All I ask for is your patience, and for you all not to be too hard on my when I hang up the long-term fanfiction hat permanently, which I will do when I finish the fanfics I've promised. I say long-term, though, because I may come back with a few shonen-ai oneshots every once in a while.

The long-term fics I am writing are final drafts of the following already published stories (sorted by series):

_( D Gray-Man)_

In Memoriam

Bound by the Symbol of Kegare

Forced Forbearance

Give Me a Reason

_(Betrayal/Uraboku)_

It's Just a Looking Glass

Where Hell Is a Good Thing

_(Bleach)_

Faded

These are the working titles for the upcoming fics, along with the intended pairings (subject to change):

_(D Gray-Man) _

Life Worth Living- KandaxOC (Maybe, it could end up just a friendship between the two of them).

_(Betrayal/Uraboku) _

Black on Black- LuzexOC (I'm actually really excited for this one)

_(Bleach) _

Security- OCxOC (heterosexual); OCxOC (homosexual) (Another one I'm pumped for)

_(Naruto)_

Fine Line- GaaraxOC (again, I may not write this. The idea isn't fully formed yet and I'm not as invested in the series as I once was).

I've already said it, but I'll reiterate: these are FINAL DRAFTS. If I haven't already completed them, I will NOT be finishing any of the already published stories that the finals are based off of. For that matter, I will not be finishing any other incomplete fics either. I simply don't have the time or inspiration.

As always, I appreciate your support. I won't delete my account, nor will I delete any previously written fics, as they serve as a reminder of how much I've improved as a writer. I hope you all will appreciate the new work coming your way. Nothing makes an author happier than receive feedback on her work. Thank you again, and I hope you're all excited for what's to come.

Feel free to message me with any questions!

~H


	3. Chapter 3

Please go to my account profile and read what's there- IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.


End file.
